“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby
Pudding man could not be more right. Sometimes we want something so badly, and yet, we are terrified of having it.
“What if I break it?” “What if I can’t maintain it?” “What if it’s too complex?” “What if I’m not strong enough to handle it?”
“What if I’m just not good enough..?”
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown”
― H.P. Lovecraft, Supernatural Horror in Literature
There are plenty of people who are quite content to wake up each day, climb into their cars and cruise down that flat, open stretch of highway that is a “normal” life.
For better or ill, I am not one of them. I am not happy doing the exact same thing every day. Sometimes, I am not content to do the same type of thing every day. Could be the reason for me not having a degree in anything–not that I haven’t gone to college(s)–I’ve studied Aviation through Zoology (pronounced Zo-ology, by the way), just not long enough to get paper, or a “sheep skin”… got a sheep’s brain, in neural physiology lab, but that doesn’t seem to count for much. Won’t even get you a cup of coffee. Do Not test that
I like to challenge myself by doing things not everyone does, things that increase my understanding of society, nature, and the Universe. In short, I like to do new things.
The thing is, mammals are hardwired to fear that which is new and unknown. So whenever I find the next new thing – say, a new career, I have to wrestle the demon. The demon is fear, and is usually disguised as self-doubt.
I may be absolutely crazy psyched to do something, and yet, that very first time, I will have to pry myself out the door. I do not know how well the new thing will go, but I do know how a nap will go.
“Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster.” – William Throsby Bridges
… and finally… sometimes, we desperately want something, but are so afraid of getting it, we actually work (at times, very hard) to destroy any opportunity to obtain it. The fear may be something as broad as “success”, or as specific as a job that would challenge one’s abilities, while opening a world of other possibilities. You know what else is like that? Sky Diving.
You step up to the door and look out, and there’s the entire world laid out in front of you. And it’s so far down…
While you’re in the plane, your options are pretty limited, but once you step out into the cold onrush of air, you have opened a whole truckload of possibilities, and some of them are decidedly bad.
“I’m gonna make a mistake. I’m gonna do it on purpose.” – Fiona Apple, When The Pawn… No, it’s not the only album I own
You want to jump, you really do. But first, you need to re-tie your boots. Then you need to check the zipper on your suit, and while you’re fumbling around, trying to get to the zipper, Poof! Your parachute pops open right there in the plane! Oh my god! How the heck did that happen? Well you sure as hell can’t jump now. Phew! personally, I have never jumped from a perfectly good plane
You really, really wanted to try. But, you were really, really, really afraid of failing.
“Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.” – Booker T. Washington
Every now and then, however, someone comes along who appreciates your abilities more than you ever could–I mean, you’re an idiot, aren’t you? You couldn’t possibly be that good… could you? Of course that type of situation is very rare and, therefore, unexpected. Suddenly you find that, despite your best efforts to sabotage that opportunity for growth and advancement, all the people who really, truly appreciate your ability have insisted you succeed.
“But what if – ” SHUT UP, BITCH!
“The important thing,” his dad had told him, when he quit college, “is to find something you love, and that you’re good at. Your fortune won’t be far behind,” and damned if dad hadn’t been right!
– The Bad Man, The Jenny by W. Ned Livingston (if he would finish it!)