“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin
Wanted to serve up this leftover before it goes completely bad.
Upon opening a WordPress window to create a new blog post, one is greeted with, “Enter Title Here”. That reminded me of how freely the word “entitlement” is being tossed around here, in the U.S. Much of the discussion revolves around the Democrats wanting to bestow titles upon poor people, and Republicans believing only American royalty should receive entitlements.
You know, when I really think about it, I’ve gotta go with the Republicans on this one. I mean, what kind of titles are you going to give, like, homeless people? And then you gotta invite them to all your dinner parties… which would totally rock as far as they’re concerned, but imagine the poor butler doing the presentations:
“May I introduce Sir Jack of Daniels, the Green-toothed Knight-errant-and-Erroneous of South Central!”
“All rise and welcome the Grand Marquis of That Alley Off Fifth, Just Around Back of Scorched Wings!”
“Pay heed and greetings to Duke Death Belch, Protector of Dumpsters on the Third Block of McCarthy Avenue and Thereabout!”
See what I mean? If you’re going to hand out titles, they really need to go to people who have won cutthroat battles and wielded subtle daggers in a strategic rise to power. People who truly own their place in society as well as those who run it.
That’s some olde time truthe, right there.
“Stand, all ye in Horror, Pay Respect, and put away your handcuffs before Lloyd Blankfein, Potentate of Goldman Sachs!”
“May the Earth shudder in terror of Raja David J. Lesar, Despot of Haliburton, Protector of Influence, Benefactor of Low Bids!”
“All bow in obeisance to Hugh Grant, Monsanto Khan, He of the Multiple Mutations, Lord of Displaced Farmers!”
See? Way better!