The way of Monday Morning Morons: a Stup – Moronic List

“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
– Marcus Tullius Cicero

For some time now, I’ve been mulling over what to make a Stupid List of next. 5 minutes in your brain just feels like forever In the end, I’ve come up with a Stupid List that will also serve as a perfect greeting to a New Week.

Je le présente: 5 Of The Most Moronic Questions People Ask On Monday Mornings

Dedicated to Gregory House, MD.

5. “Dammit! Why am I always out of gas when I’m already running late?”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember last evening, when you were watching TV and relaxing with that drink? Yeah, might have just zipped down for a fill-up before you settled in.

4. “Dammit! Why are these assholes driving so slow? Now I’m going to be really late.”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember that third time you hit snooze? Might have considered dragging your ass out of bed after the first time. Oh, you feel like shit? Well, in that case, you’re a complete moron. Remember last night, when you were relaxing with a drink… then another… etc., like it was Saturday night? Didn’t you do that to yourself last Sunday night too? Moron.

3. “Dammit! Why do the traffic lights always go against me when I’m already late?”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember that last answer I gave? Yeah, re-read that… once your eyes have stopped trying to shove spikes through your brain… Moron.

2. “Oh dear god! Why did I stay up so late last night? I’m gonna be a wreck all day.”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: I have the distinct impression you don’t need any special circumstances to be a wreck all day, every day. How about taking a two week vacation… from being an idiot, moron.

# 1.

"Why does this shit always happen to ME?"

“Why does this shit always happen to ME?”

If you’re actually going to make me say it, you really are a moron.

“In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.” – Edward Everett Hale

Come on, you’ve made it this far. You know the drill: scald the entire inside of your mouth with really bad coffee, then crawl off to work. unless you work at home. If you work at home, pull on a pair of slippers, shuffle down to the kitchen, make yourself a nice cup of coffee, whip up some breakfast while your coffee cools to a safe temperature, get ready for the day ahead

Bonus: “People who work at home suck!”

People who have worked their asses off and gotten to a point where they have the discipline and drive needed to work at home are not morons.
You, however, are a moron.
Welcome to a New Week, Bitches!


TIA

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About wned2012

Creative thinker & lover of laughter.
This entry was posted in Better Living, Career, Humor, Stupid Lists, Things and Stuff, Welcome to a new week - bitches, WTFBloPo and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The way of Monday Morning Morons: a Stup – Moronic List

  1. Farah says:

    ROFL! SO much wisdom in those words. MORE-ON! 😉
    Oh, and HURRAY! for us folks who work from home. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha Ha.. Couldn’t help laughing at this; and some great ideas here for some comedy writing too!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The way of God’s Plan | NedSpeak

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