United We Stand: 10 Things I Love About My Country #2: Inventors & Inventions…

My parents never let me forget my Scottish ancestry… and now I know the Scots are to blame for my interest in tinkering.

SteveMcSteveface.com

scotland_640As it’s coming closer to the Vote For Independence campaign in Scotland I’ve teamed up with Suzie81 Speaks and Crazy Pie Lady to compile a list of 10 things we love about our own country. They love England and America (for some reason) and I love Scotland. Politics aside, let’s enjoy our country!

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The way of Muse Abuse


Muse – [myooz]
noun
1. Classical Mythology
a. any of a number of sister goddesses, originally given as Aoede (song), Melete (meditation), and Mneme (memory)”
– dictionary.com

What in the world did I do before the internet? paid the equivalent of your monthly cable bill in late book fees

In more modern times, Muses are thought to imbue creative types with, well, creativity.

“Success is fickle, but creativity is a gift.” – Tommy Shaw

I believe it’s quite appropriate for Muses and, therefore, creativity to be characterized as women, given their fickle nature – now wait!
Before all you feminists, and the spineless men you drag around, club me like a baby fur seal, remember – baby fur seal!

Actually, I think of “fickle” as just another word for “adaptable” and being adaptable is a good thing, right?

fick·le – [fik-uhl]
adjective
1. just another word for adaptable, resilient, versatile, flexible: Unlike hard-headed Steve, Mary was fickle, and that was a good thing.

See? If you can’t trust dictionary.com, who can you trust? more like fictionary.bs

“Creativity is what helps me escape a lot of my inner demons.” – Demi Lovato

I like that quote. It’s very insightful. don’t even try, monkey-boy

But there’s that word, “helps”. One may receive a great deal of help with something, and still fail. Thus it is with one’s inner demons; they are quite capable of scaring away one’s creative muses. you bet your ass Sometimes, it doesn’t even require dozens of dastardly demons to send a muse scrambling into a cold-war bomb shelter. Sometimes, it only requires one. Even worse, your muse may actually invite the frickin’ demon in then run away, screaming like a little girl! See? They’re like women. – baby fur seal!

Aaaawww…

Original uploader was Melon247 at en.wikipedia

Original uploader was Melon247 at en.wikipedia

 
“Obsession is a young man’s game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old.” – Michael Caine

I can be quite single-minded, at times, occasionally ravaged by the demon called Obsession we call him Sid. The past six weeks, for example…

Over the last three or four years, I’ve been visited quite often by the Muse of Invention, you mean Rosie and have been designing a machine. Now, this is one of those things that may be incredible, or incredibly embarrassing – and I won’t really know which until it’s built and I see it running. or people see you running So, I’ve spent years developing the basic design for the thing and the time to build it finally came… and it’s too big to build indoors. So before I could even begin to build the actual machine, I had to build a covered work area so I’m not sitting on my thumbs every time it rains. I’ve only got the Summer months to get this thing done. you’re seriously going to finish something? Ha Ha Very Funny, Now Shut Up! what the..?

Wanting to see the end product of her inspiration, my muse invited Obsession in to expedite the building process.

I had to fabricate many of the pieces myself.

I had to fabricate many of the pieces myself.

Since then, I haven’t been able to devote a single creative thought to anything else. hello..? cool. …you’d have to have a single thought As a result, I have not had much of a sense of humor, even we were getting a bit worried concentrating solely on the next step for getting the project finished and tested. no, seriously worried we’d never be able to make wise-cracks again With Obsession stubbornly at the controls, any muses having anything to do with being at all funny or interesting had locked themselves in their room, and they weren’t coming out. Sid is one scary sumbitch!

After a couple of set backs…

Courtesy_Science is Awesome

… they’re bound to happen–late last week, I finished the bulk of the main structure and was able to perform a critical “proof of concept” test, of our patience and it frickin’ worked!

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
– Mark Twain

Having seen such progress so quickly, Obsession now you’re just being rude to Sid just up and left, now here I am, back at my computer, wasting time. we resemble that remark! Just as it should be.

Where the magic happens.

Where the magic happens.

“… I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic…” – United States Oath of Allegiance

The Oath of Allegiance is typically administered to citizens being “naturalized,” are other countries unnatural or supernatural? and recruits joining the Military. Note the part about “enemies, foreign and domestic.”

The thing is, the demons that terrorize and crush your muses are not always internal; sometimes the demons terrorize from outside your head… like your boss… Just like your internal demons, sometimes your external demons, with just a little effort, may be appeased and will lumber away, back under the bridge from whence they came, leaving you to – that’s enough, Sid is gone and we’re gonna play!

What demons crush your creativity?

Welcome to a New Week, Bitches!


TIA

Posted in ... and also, no cats., Blogging, General Writing, Humor, Things and Stuff, Welcome to a new week - bitches | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The way of Arrogant Assholes

Facebook has sent you a Friend Request

Grumpy-Cat_Hell No

Sorry, this is no joke. I’m not cancelling my account on Facebook, I simply will not be using it very much anymore.

Here’s some interesting reading:

Remember those articles about Facebook making users feel unhappy?
Well this time I’m thinking, “Outrage”.

“Facebook doesn’t understand the backlash against its emotional manipulation study.” – @ForbesTech on Twitter

Facebook ran a science experiment on nearly 700,000 of its users.

Anyone interested in keeping in touch can find me on Google+ as +W. Ned, or on Twitter as @w_nedley
Are those platforms any better than Facebook? Well, how many stories of outrageous intrusions and manipulations have you read about them, just this year? Also, they don’t try to decide for you which posts you should see.
It really is sad. Personally, I like the Facebook user interface more than the others, but what goes on behind that screen is beyond my tolerance level.

Welcome to a New Week of online abusery, Bitches!

#FuckYouFacebook #ImOnGooglePlus #ImOnTwitter

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The way of Monday Morning Morons: a Stup – Moronic List

“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
– Marcus Tullius Cicero

For some time now, I’ve been mulling over what to make a Stupid List of next. 5 minutes in your brain just feels like forever In the end, I’ve come up with a Stupid List that will also serve as a perfect greeting to a New Week.

Je le présente: 5 Of The Most Moronic Questions People Ask On Monday Mornings

Dedicated to Gregory House, MD.

5. “Dammit! Why am I always out of gas when I’m already running late?”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember last evening, when you were watching TV and relaxing with that drink? Yeah, might have just zipped down for a fill-up before you settled in.

4. “Dammit! Why are these assholes driving so slow? Now I’m going to be really late.”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember that third time you hit snooze? Might have considered dragging your ass out of bed after the first time. Oh, you feel like shit? Well, in that case, you’re a complete moron. Remember last night, when you were relaxing with a drink… then another… etc., like it was Saturday night? Didn’t you do that to yourself last Sunday night too? Moron.

3. “Dammit! Why do the traffic lights always go against me when I’m already late?”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: remember that last answer I gave? Yeah, re-read that… once your eyes have stopped trying to shove spikes through your brain… Moron.

2. “Oh dear god! Why did I stay up so late last night? I’m gonna be a wreck all day.”

Short answer? You’re a moron.
Slightly less short answer: I have the distinct impression you don’t need any special circumstances to be a wreck all day, every day. How about taking a two week vacation… from being an idiot, moron.

# 1.

"Why does this shit always happen to ME?"

“Why does this shit always happen to ME?”

If you’re actually going to make me say it, you really are a moron.

“In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.” – Edward Everett Hale

Come on, you’ve made it this far. You know the drill: scald the entire inside of your mouth with really bad coffee, then crawl off to work. unless you work at home. If you work at home, pull on a pair of slippers, shuffle down to the kitchen, make yourself a nice cup of coffee, whip up some breakfast while your coffee cools to a safe temperature, get ready for the day ahead

Bonus: “People who work at home suck!”

People who have worked their asses off and gotten to a point where they have the discipline and drive needed to work at home are not morons.
You, however, are a moron.
Welcome to a New Week, Bitches!


TIA

Posted in Better Living, Career, Humor, Stupid Lists, Things and Stuff, Welcome to a new week - bitches, WTFBloPo | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The way of The Reading Girl


“I have seventy two books loaded on this thing, and I still get anxious when I go to appointments.” – The Reading Girl

“It’s OK. Once you’ve run out of books, they’re bound to have a bulletin board cluttered with all manner of printed crap.” – Me

“Of course… the bulletin board; there’s always a bulletin board. Good to go!” – The Reading Girl

Eyes closed, head slowly shaking side to side – Me

books

A mug of hot coffee and a gallon of milk.
She sips the coffee while devouring the contents of the milk,
eyes fixated on its label.

Dinner smells, “interesting.”
I do not dare ask.
A new cookbook has “followed her home.”

I look up from my desk,
see her scanning a sheaf of papers.
“Hey! I’m still writing that one!”

Sitting quietly in traffic,
I glance quickly around.
There should be enough signs while we wait at the traffic light.

“Did you know…” without glancing up.
I did not know.
And could probably have lived the rest of my life not knowing.

In the muted light of the bedroom,
We sit snuggled hip-to-hip.
I glance at her book, curious to see who I’ll be reading next.

A beautiful Sunday morning, smelling of sunshine and coffee.
In her chair on the porch, she’s curled up in an over-sized T-shirt and shorts.
Immersed in the news, she does not see how the sun on her face makes my heart ache.

In the Winter of our age,
our chairs pulled close by the fireplace,
her book settles quietly onto her lap as she looks into my eyes.

For now,
she’s reading me.

fireplace


TIA

Posted in ... and also, no cats., Better Living, Relationships, Semi-Serious, Things and Stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The way of “H”

“Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.”
– George S. Patton

There were two blogging challenges last year, The April A-Z Challenge, and the Blog You Lazy Bastard (the real name was slightly different, but equally inane) challenge in November. I actually participated in (unofficially) and completed both of them. I have also taken the opportunity after each to express my opinions concerning the aforementioned challenges… oh, go find them yourself – the first will be somewhere just after April, and the second just after November, genius.

Basically those challenges proved, once again, the premise that anything that’s fun can be made not fun by turning it into an obligation.

Well, here we are 8 days into this year’s April A-Z Blogging Challenge, and I well and truly am not falling for it this time (you don’t deserve 30 days of this). However, having put myself through that special little, month-long hell a couple of times already, I feel I should give a nod to those who are attacking the challenge with all the creativity and dedication they can. This nod is most decidedly not for the many bloggers who will blithely dash through the month, flinging shit up onto the blogosphere’s walls, not even caring whether it sticks or not. You see, that’s the real challenge – not just to see if you can open your editor and press repeatedly on your keyboard for 30 days but, rather, to see if you are creative, knowledgeable, and/or entertaining enough to create quality content, that people other than your mom would want to read… and I’ll let you in on something, Sparky, if you are a shit slinger, your mom is not proud of you either.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” – Bill Cosby

One example, from the many available, of how to create a great blog for a month-long challenge is the Little Fox Tarot blog.

I did not pick that particular blog because I owe her anything, but for the far more legit reason that she is a first-time blogging challenge participant who has already nailed the secret formula for successful long-haul blogging:

Expert Knowledge of a Topic + Snark + Brevity = Awesome With Legs that means it’s long-lasting. you need to read more

Her blog is worth reading even if you have no interest at all in the dark arts or Satanic rituals…

Not Really, Idiot!

It is worth reading even if you are not into so-called “New Age” stuff, it’s pretty entertaining. Go to the page, don’t be lazy; scroll to the bottom and start at “A”. In fact, if you’ve decided at this point to Google the 2014 April A-Z Blogging Challenge, I’m so good to you and sample some of the wares, have some respect and start at “A” for all of them.

So, today being the eighth day of April, the letter du jour now resides at the letter, “H”. Accordingly my blog post today is a big

Hell Yeah!

You go, you gaggle of crazy-mad, ingenious, workaholic, blogging fanatics!

Welcome to a fairly new Week – and Blogging Challenge, Bitches!

did any of that stick to the wall?


TIA

Posted in ... and also, no cats., A to Z Blogging Challenge, Blogging, General Writing, NaBloPoMo, Semi-Serious, The A to Z Challenge - Not, Things and Stuff, Welcome to a new week - bitches, WTFBloPo, YoLoBloMo | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The way of Damned Idiots

“I don’t have a ton of enemies. I get along with people pretty well when I’m
not annoying them to death.” – Joss Whedon

Fair warning:

I have never honored the ridiculous notion of April Fools Day… I have April Fools Week!

Ha ha ha – Just kidding… April Fools!

No, wait…

Greek Chorus

April Fools Day has gone past, now you’re the biggest fool at last.

Sonofabitch!


TIA

Posted in ... and also, no cats., Blogging, Humor, Not At All Funny, Relationships, Things and Stuff, Uncategorized, WTFBloPo | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment